I need to kick back
& remind stress to leave me be
Because I've got a circle of angels that are forever looking out for me.
Seeing is believing?
Well I say that spiritual intuition could never be deceiving.
Whether it's positive energy that I am receiving
Or those random moments of clarity whilst I'm day dreaming.
 
Those others can 'stay scheming'
But their lifestyle I'm really not feeling.
For the instruction of which new popular product to purchase they are feanin'.
Then they consider me weird when I say that my favourite past time is reading.
 
But to grow I must feel this pain
Like a baby when it's teething.
So I embrace the times of loneliness
& remind myself that I'm blessed just to be breathing,
In a time when the leaders are misleading
& war torn mothers are grieving
The enlightened must ensure that their light is forever beaming,
Hoping that those lost in the dark will follow
& gain depth & meaning,
Where society has left them hollow.

LOSS OF A LIFE.
LOSS OF COMPOSURE.
LOSS OF TRUST.
LACK OF MEDIA EXPOSURE.
 
PEOPLE CLAIM THIS.
& PEOPLE CLAIM THAT.
SO MANY OPINIONS FLUNG AROUND,
THAT PEOPLE FORGET THE FACTS
 
THERE'S GOOD & BAD IN EVERY GROUP
SO WHY SHOULD POLICE BE AN EXCEPTION?
LIKE THEY COULD NEVER STEP A FOOT WRONG
SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PAID FOR OUR 'PROTECTION'
 
EVERY YEAR PEOPLE DIE IN POLICE CUSTODY
FAMILY MEMBERS NOT GIVEN ANY FORM OF EXPLANATION.
THE MAJORITY OF US HOLD SOME FORM OF PREJUDICE
THAT BLUE UNIFORM DOES NOT SUDDENLY RID SOMEONE OF THIS.
 
THOSE PROGRAMMED BY MEDIA FAIL TO SEE
THAT WHAT WAS ONCE WORN WITH PRIDE
IS NOW OFTEN USED AS A DISGUISE
MASKING THE CORRUPTION THAT LYES INSIDE
 
IF YOU WEAR A HOODY
YOU WILL PROBABLY BE FEARED,
YET IT IS MORE LIKELY THAT A MAN IN BLUE
HAS RECENTLY MADE A LIFE DISAPPEAR.
 
I wrote this poem shortly after the riots erupted within the U.K, after the death of Mark Duggan (R.I.P).
This poem is the result of the frustration that I felt at the time towards a number of people who simply shrugged their shoulders at the situation, and believed that 'the police were only doing their job'. I believe that there are two sides to EVERY story, yet the majority of people seem to simply accept whatever version of events  that the media are providing them with.... without questioning the situation and / or possible ulterior motives.

Had me in a predicament that left me shaken up like a bottle of fizz. 

Mind in a state - got me thinking maybe it was my fault & not his.

Head games

Heart pain 

Knowing things can't be the same. 

Can't help but question whether I'll ever love again. 

Conflicting thoughts attempting to drive me insane. 

Never thought I'd be THAT chick. 

Ego shouting at me: 'HOW YOU LET HIM TAKE YOU FOR A PRICK?' 

Stomach tightening. 

Feeling sick. 

No wonder giving your all is a concept that is so frightening. 

Cupid didn't hit me with an arrow 

More like a bolt of lightening. 

Because our love was electric. 

On high voltage. 

So I guess a fuse was always gonna blow. 

But how was I to know? 

When your a slave to loves power 

You never once think that something so sweet .. could end up so sour.

Wish that you didn’t have to be out on the roads,

But it is what it is,

I’ma continue playing my role.

Drop you a ‘Roll Safe xx’ text

& Keep you in my prayers

& when you need to talk, just know that I’m all ears.

Because I aim to uplift you

That’s why I hold it down

Makes it all worth while,

Knowing that I’m the one who makes you smile

When the rest of the world makes you wana frown

Your intelligence & creativity

Makes you stand out from the crowd

Compared to you, any other guys – all a bunch of clowns!

Is my head up in the clouds?

Yeah that’s a possibility,

Could just be caught up with the ways that you’ve been charming me,

But the comfort in your kiss

Encourages me to venture further in this risk.

The strength of my faith

Allows me to see past what others may judge as weakness within you

Because I understand your methods of defence,

As I do the same sh*t too.

We’ve been blessed with an opportunity

That i’m determined not to miss.

But at the same time I remain aware that balance is the key

So in return, all I expect is the upmost amount of respect & loyalty

& I know I’m not perfect

So just show patience with me.

Give & take…

As long as we get that right

I’m certain that things will continue to flow as natural, as water in a lake.

MY CRANIUM IS CURRENTLY IN COMPRESSION MODE,

EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD

I DO MY BEST TO HOLD IT IN

BUT THAT'S FAST FEELING LIKE A SIN



SICK OF CONVERSATING WITH PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT THEY CAN RELATE TO ME,

WHEN BLATANTLY,

MY FRUSTRATION HAS A LEVEL OF PAIN THAT THEY FAIL TO SEE.

SO WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LET ME BE?



HOW TUPAC SAID, 'I EXIST IN THE DEPTH OF SOLITUDE'

SO WHEN I DON'T COME ACROSS AS TALKATIVE,

PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M BEING RUDE.

BUT WHEN CAUGHT UP IN MY THOUGHTS,

I'M FAR FROM EASILY AMUSED



THE TASTE OF BLOOD HAS BECOME FAR TOO FAMILIAR

FROM ALL THE OCCASIONS OF BITING MY TONGUE

REPEATEDLY MADE TO FEEL THAT MY VIEWS DON'T COUNT

SIMPLY BECAUSE I AM 'YOUNG'.



BUT MY CONNECTION TO THE UNIVERSE PROVIDES ME WITH A UNIQUE STRENGTH,

A HUMBLE FORM OF CONFIDENCE,

THAT ENSURES ME THAT ONE DAY MY WINGS WILL BE FULLY SPREAD,

NO MORE STRESS ON MY HEAD

NO MORE HURTING MYSELF IN ORDER TO HELP OTHERS

IN SIMPLE TERMS.. MY MIND STATE WILL BE EXCEEDINGLY GOOD!

SO I REMAIN PATIENT AND FAITHFUL

WHILST JUDGMENTAL MINDS CONTINUE TO HAVE ME MISUNDERSTOOD

I’m on a constant search for substance

& I can’t stop

Until I get it in abundance

A deeper insight

Allowing my mind to take flight

Fleeing from the constraints of humanity

Mentally achieving what many fail to perceive as a reality

But for me to conform to the way of society

Would be to surrender my entire identity

& step off the path towards spirituality

Allowing fear to conquer

& my ego to grow

All of which is near impossible once true knowledge is known

Our relationship was challenged right from the start

I came into your life.. & a few weeks later you gained a broken heart

For your own mom you were grieving

Whilst by your side was a new born child

Who was often crying and screaming

Can’t have been easy to be a mom

At a time when your own had only just gone

We haven’t got the most conventional mother – daughter relationship

In fact, it often feels as if the roles have been flipped

I want to be there for you as much as I can

Even though during the times that I was slipping

You were unable to hold my hand

During my childhood we weren’t really the closest

But it weren’t until my teens that I really began to notice.

We often failed to see eye to eye

But during the recent years I’ve happily waved good bye

To all of the frustration that was built up in me

Now that I can see clearly & my mind feels free

During the situations you’ve dealt with, others would have crumbled

But you kept strong belief in your faith & stayed humble.

Your work ethic alone amazes me

Always worked 2 – 3 jobs on minimum wage

Still putting in them hours in despite of your age

So even though things between us may not have always been ‘perfect’

There’s not a doubt in my mind that your intentions have forever been good

Even when we both had each other misunderstood

For me & your other children there’s nothing your wouldn’t do

That’s part of the reason why I could never put another above you.